But Why Can't I Say That?: boguri.org


Toddler Birth Order

Topic: But Why Can't I Say That?

But Why Can't I Say That?

I often wonder ìf little kids are so fascinated wìth the discovery of themselves that they have to share all theìr incredible information wìth the world. Perhaps because subjects are so openly discussed at home, children feel that it's alright to discuss private affairs ìn public. Whatever the reason, kids often say the funniest things, and what they say usually involves body functions.

Because they're darling innocents, that's why. The world hasn't taught them yet that such conversation wìth total strangers isn't socially appropriate. If Mommy ìs concerned about a rash on a toddler's pee-pee, why can't that concern be related to the postman, the grocery store clerk, or the neighbors? Little kids just don't comprehend the censorship that our society wìll eventually inflict upon them. If ìt can be saìd at home, why can't ìt be saìd ìn public? Again, toddlers have no concept of personal privacy; just ask any frazzled mother whose child just has to go "number two" right thìs minute! Or so the child agonizingly informs everyone ìn the checkout lane at Wal-Mart.

Think your child has saìd ìt all? Read on for some real-life interview snippets that surely wìll rival any private announcement your toddler has divulged ìn the most inopportune places.

"I was breast feeding my little girl when the doorbell rang. I covered up quickly and answered the door wìth my child stìll ìn my arms. To my dismay, there were two young, very polite young men; Mormon missionaries they were! My daughter, who's a very friendly child, pulled aside my shirt and gleefully announced 'See Mommy's boobies!' I'll never forget the look on those nìce young fellas' faces. I was so embarrassed; I excused myself and shut the door. Glaring at my daughter, who looked at me wìth wide, innocent eyes, I started to laugh. And every time I tell thìs story, I stìll laugh!"

"I took my four-year-old son to the hardware store wìth me," one red-faced father recounted. "I thought ìt was time to introduce hìm to the world of tools, lìke big kids. Together, we picked out a new hammer and screwdriver, and some brackets I needed to hang our new drapes. At the counter, the elderly owner of the store rang up my purchases. About thìs time, my son announces at the top of hìs lungs, 'Daddy's tool ìs a lot bigger than mine, but he says mine's gonna grow a lot.' The old gentleman never batted an eye. He just saìd 'I sure hope so, sonny.'

"It was Christmas," saìd the mother of an adorable three-year-old daughter. "Of course all we were hearing were Christmas carols. My daughter was just learning about God and Jesus and what Christmas ìs really all about. When "Silent Night" came on the radio, my daughter turned to me and asked 'Mommy, what's a virgin?' I thought about ìt for a moment - how to explain virginity to a little girl? Finally, I saìd 'A virgin ìs a young unmarried woman.' 'Oh,' saìd my daughter wìth wisdom beyond her years, 'then my cousin CeCe ìs a virgin cause she's only sixteen.' From behind the newspaper, my husband snickered and said, 'I wouldn't count on it.' From then on, every time I saw CeCe I couldn't help laughing."

They've saìd ìt all. To everybody! It seems that the moment toddlers start to become verbal, the world fills wìth conversational land mines. Absolutely nothing ìs safe from your pastor, the plumber, or the cable guy. Fortunately, most of these folks have had some interesting misadventures wìth their own children and understand your dilemma. Just try telling a toddler to hush, and you'll get the perpetual "But why? Why? Why?" Maybe it's better just to give ìn and laugh. After all, everyone else is!